Marriage and the Mouth

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.” Matthew 15:18

We say nice things AND not so nice thing in marriage. But the bible tells us that what comes out from our mouths reveals the messy state of our hearts. And in this thing called marriage, when I say something I didn’t mean to my husband, truth read from God’s word made me look toward my heart and say to myself, “what is going on in my heart?”

It’s time to reflect.
To confess.
To get to the root of an issue that apparently I haven’t dealt with.

You know it when it hits you.
When God’s word cuts through that bone and marrow and reveals the ickyness of sin inside your heart. It hit me while re-reading Matthew 15:18, except this time God’s word convicted ME (not someone else in my mind that I thought this verse should be for! I know you have those verses you want others to hear instead of you sometimes too!). Convicted….. of my very own words to my husband, I realized I was the wrong one. I hate when I am wrong! Don’t you? Anyway, my mouth was hurting my marriage, not helping it.

Our mouths get us into trouble. That little tongue of ours can do a heap of damage to anyone standing in its path. Before we know it, we are saying things we would never say or saying words in a tone that we would never use in a right state of heart. This particular time, my heart wasn’t right and there was no hiding it. My husband was the victim in its path.

Proverbs says, “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.” There was no knowledge or wisdom spewing forth that day when I spoke that way. It was the voice of a fool, the voice of an unchecked heart, the voice of a woman stepping on the spirit of God’s self control he freely gives.

After M.U.C.H. reflection, I clearly saw the issue I needed to talk to God about and pray over.
Marriage is HARD (you can say Amen to that!). It’s learning to not be selfish. To think of another person before yourself. To love like God loves. To be kind. To be slow to anger and quick to listen.
And I had been selfish and fearful, and not trusting the Lord. So all of those unchecked feelings, came forth when I spoke to my husband. Thank goodness for forgiveness and a marriage where God is honored.
But here’s the thing I am learning: Marriage is not about being right, it’s about being willing to run in God’s right ways. And for that, I am thankful.

1. What words are you using in your marriage?
2. Are the words you use helping or hurting your marriage? What needs to change?
3. Is there a pattern where you lose control and sin in your anger? Is it over a certain topic, issue? If so, get to the root of the issue first. Pray. Submit it before God in confession.
4. Ask forgiveness from God and from your husband.